new direction

okay, i had my fun using words most of you guys don't understand...but i really think i'm heading in a new direction with this.

i'm more interested in sharing my views with you than i am in confusing you.

i want to take this time to thank my sister, virginia, for being her hilarious self and creating that translation page "hot as hamburgers". it was fun while it lasted.


i'm heading to pocatello tomorrow for a concert. it's going to be an eventful day, and i will need my energy. so, i think i'm going to sleep now.

every night i put my laptop on the nightstand beside me and open my music player, choose copeland from the list of artists. click shuffle...and minimize the player.
(just to let you know: aaron marsh has the voice of an angel. no...even better than that)

...it makes sleeping even better.

realizations at wrong times are so unbecoming

oh, the glories of adolescence. did i say glories?....i meant the austerity, of course. for getting from the point of believing you are mature to actually being so, can be quite the nightmarish experience.

there comes a time in pretty much every person's life when you realize that one day you will have to support yourself, make decisions for yourself, and solve conflicts all by yourself. it's a very real comparison that we are all like little birds (as i have mentioned in a previous entry). most of us are born with all the necessities of living at our disposal. we are graced with a home and with food being fed right to us, but then comes the day that we must fly away and begin living as the sole proprietor of our lives.

i apologize to you for articulating seemingly unimportant matters in a highly inadequate fashion...but i do have a point. i am trying my best to head into the direction of that, and i prefer to begin with a preface.

i had always known that one day all this would come into affect for me...but i didn't think much anything of it. i was simply this carefree little girl who liked to sleep in all day and watch movies all night. i've noticed we (humans) do this rather often. i suppose, in a way, it's a bit like procrastination. you don't think about it, or doing anything about it until the deadline is right there in your face.

my point is...i need to figure out what i'm going to do with my life. i know that i want to be a famous author of prize winning novels, as well as a successful film actress and musician...but i have to face reality and accept the fact that i cannot always get what i want. i can always work toward that goal...and always keep that dream alive, but for the mean time...i have to be able to support myself.

motivation is my big ordeal. whenever i even attempt to fathom getting a job or going to college i find myself losing large amounts of energy, and that can't be good. i suppose i am just really freaking lazy.

well, this blog entry was just horrendous. i really am sorry for wasting your time. i don't know why i do it....i really don't. maybe i'm just avoiding life, maybe this is just a lame excuse to not do what i have to do, like what was mentioned in this entry...but basically, this is just a little attempt to cure my boredom.

i'm glad this has ceased.

Nope

No

futileness

this blog was created with no intention of harming anyone, however i fear i may have done just that. you see...it has come to my attention that most everyone today has hardly a fraction of my verbosity, causing them a headache of the acutest kind when attempting to perceive my words.

i am not about to apologize to you for my own loquaciousness. if you wish to comprehend what i am telling you, then you go on and apologize to yourself for not expanding your own vocabulary prior to coming across this page.

with that said, i may now move on to topics of which do not cause me a great deal of distress...

there is a building located five miles from where i sit that is structured much like that of a turtle. i call it "the turtle buliding". i am aware that name isn't the best to come up with...but it is what it is, and so it shall remain that way. i mention such a thing for no apparent reason, to you or to myself. for i am sure you find it pretty pointless, as do i. the relation of such a statement to this blog, however, isn't exactly nonsensical. i find that such a blog, one with little meaning to begin with, might as well end that way.

the paragraph above was basically an excuse to write. i couldn't come up with anything worth words, so i settled for the unworthy.

i have, sitting on my lap, a dog whom which has a stench of the most distasteful nature. i cannot help but loathe having her here. sure, she's adorable and has a cute personality, but i must be honest with you...people (well, in this case..animals) who emit an unpleasant odor aren't exactly a joy to be near. do not mistake my words, for i am not meaning to sound ill-natured. i am simply giving life to the feelings of which linger on most everyone's mind.

i could elongate this submission, but i am not feeling up to it. besides, i have to save the rest of my pointless theories and antics for the blogs to come. as it is, i only have over a million of them remaining fresh in my mind.

..that was my valediction.

slendid afternoons

greetings, my fellow earthlings. what a beautiful day it is for residents of palmer, alaska. unfortunately i am sitting in a stuffy office, howvever i am located in front of a rather large window with a spectacular view. it's of the sky mainly, which is one true beauty that will never be duplicated. i just love how nature is full of colors and shades...even the seemingly most depressing have hidden beauty. in fact, my favorite color (or shade) is gray. i absolutely adore how the sky looks on a gray day. i do not find such a time to be gloomy at all, but most people do. isn't it strange how most humans relate an emotion with a color? for example: red=anger, blue=sadness, yellow=happiness. i do find it rather odd, but that's just me.

i detest when people ask "is 'insert noun here' making your life a drag?". i find this question to be perfectly obtuse! life is never something to toy with. saying your life is a drag is an action of the most ungrateful nature. life is precious in every way and at all times. if you had no life that would mean you either do not exist or have died. let me ask you this; which seems like more of a drag to you, going through life or being dead?

suicidal people are completely ungrateful. most all the people who commit suicide have hate rediating throughout their force of energy. that is no way to be. i pity them, to be sure. my only wish is that more people, perhaps all, could enjoy life as i do and see the true potential at happiness that lies within themselves. the world could be such a better place. with happiness in all our hearts there would be peace between all mankind. a believe a world as such is indeed possible. it starts with me and ends with you.

i never truly knew what i wanted out of life, but now i do. i want love, laughter, truth, and happiness...all at the same time. and i need for what i want to be shared with the rest of the world, but the rest of the world needs it to be shared with their wants. and that is exactly what we need to change.

well...i best be getting back with my life.

peace. love. happiness.

imperfectly adequate

my, my...i have been away for far too long. i am deeply regretful and offer to you my sincerest apologies. you may be wondering what has caused my elongated absence...and yet, you may not. i would suspect the latter, but i am going to inform you despite the fact that you most likely do not care.

following the night after my first attempt at blogging, i was so excited to write another. early in morn when the dew still lingered on the freshly cut blades of grass i awoke from my chambers and nestled comfortably on the computer desk chair. i cranked my neck to the left and to the right, releasing the tension which was brought on by the hard slumber i had endured. i reached upward with both my arms, completing the fourth stretch of the morning. more out of habit than requirement, i popped each and every one of my knuckles. it only made my typing all the more swift.

predictable was the circumstance. i suppose some resignation or some such requirement of a technical matter had timed out and all the text on the screen were transformed into hieroglyphics.

thus the basis of my bummed out attitude, and the means to a beginning of blogging deprivation.

a new day has begun, and i have found myself a computer with sufficient aptitude to allow such an act. i am grateful, for now i get to rant on about random matters to whomever comes across this sad little page of mine. sorry about that, by the way. i do not wish to reveal the sentiments of a most depressing nature to you. i only wish to tell a story. a story with no point of existence, but a story nonetheless.


a note for the wise: do not trust ziploc baggies, or any plastic bags of the sort. they will rape your food of its every amiable quality and leave behind a bitter taste of displeasure. it was earlier this very day that i decided to pack some vanilla wafers into such a container. what a wrong decision it was. eleven perfectly delicious wafers are now sitting ruined at the bottom of a wastebasket, atop its malicious fiend of a carrier.

i better return to my duties. i am needed for the next half hour, and then homeward bound i be. i shall return to this blog someday. i am not making any promises about when or how, but i know one day i will return.

until then..much love,
c.s. motley

no light propitious shone

i had often wondered what it would be like to post blogs and be a "blogger", though i had never really acted upon my curiosity. until now, that is..obviously, otherwise what is this text you are reading? anyway, now that we have all established the fact that i had wondered what writing a blog would feel like and that i finally let my wonderous nature succumb to actual knowledge and started to write this very blog...we can move on.

i am sitting in a chair that wants to constantly roll backwards. it is a bit of a struggle just to sit. perhaps if i moved a block of wood behind the wheels or duct taped the legs to the plastic office mat beneath me. wow, i never thought i'd be saying anything so superfluous. then again, i was being sarcastic. i am rather sarcastic. you must come to me in full expectance of disbelief in some of my words, for that is what i wish. i don't know why i do it. it's not as if i am trying to be humourous, because whatever it is i say, it's never funny. well, i suppose never is too harsh a word, how about rarely ever. that's more than never. i have to give myself some credit.

well..isn't this just dandy? i am not nearly into the introduction of my first blog, and i must end it. it turns out, the chair that i am sitting in, the very chair i mentioned not moments ago..is located at my mother's office. it's nearly one in the ante meridiem and we really must get home to catch up on some serious movie time. well, the movies are for me. sleep is what my mother has planned...to be sure.

well..i promise to continue this journey of mine in the land of blogging someday soon. this is definitely not adequate to be called my first blog, though technically it is. let's just call this one..my first attempt at bloggism.

'til we meet again!